Sexual Education

To avoid any confusion about gender and to make you feel like the opposite gender too (this is called empathy), I will refer to the subject of the action with "you", and to the object of the action with "your partner". The masculine pronouns (he, him) and the feminine ones (she, her) will be used to identify only their associated gender, and "he / she" or "him / her" will be used to identify either gender.

"Vulva" will be used to specifically refer to the outer genital organs of a woman, but also the genital organs of a woman in their entirety.

To "give sex" means that you do it to somebody: you are giving. To "receive sex" means that somebody is doing it to you: you are receiving.

Sexuality is behavior, it is attitude, it is personality. Sexuality has its roots in the reproductive instinct, instinct which represents the survival instinct of the human species.

The survival instinct is the primordial instinct, the one which keeps humans alive, the one which makes them be aware of the dangers to their lives, the one which makes them create ways to improve their life and increase their life span.

Sexuality is not about a penis in a vagina, but about a variety of emotional experiences. The reproductive instinct of humans, the chase of men for women, the selection women make from men, the romance and love which bind a man and a woman, the physical closeness and touch between a man and a woman, the sexual act which actually reproduces humans, the birth of children, the raising of children, a parent caressing his / her child's cheek, the await for the children to reproduce themselves, all these form sexuality!

Sexuality is life, survival, reproduction, control, domination.

Do not ever believe that a sexual act equates Sexuality! The goal of sexuality is reproduction. A sexual act is merely a physiological act which facilitates reproduction, it's a tool of sexuality for the purpose of reproduction.

Sexuality is special because it binds the two halves of the human species (= men and women), it is the only part of the human behavior which makes the difference between the relationships between the two genders.

Pleasure is present throughout sexuality as a way to increase the chances of reproduction of a species (= humans) which can otherwise choose to ignore their sexuality due to the numerous conflicts it creates between men and women during their fight for sexual domination or resignation.

At instinctual level, sexuality is a fight for the control of the partner, regardless of the feelings between the two. This happens regardless of the type of the relationship: monogamous or polygamous. Even in a monogamous relationship, the man will always instinctually chase his woman and try to have sex with her as much as possible, and the woman will always instinctually try to filter the man's requests. The only way to have a balance is for the two partners to create it through mental evolution, during many years.

While reading this book you might think that it's about positions, penises, vaginas and breasts, or about the author's sexual life, but it is in fact about the way the human mind works, about human behavior, about the specific aspects of the human perception of sexuality which can make the mind evolve, to control itself, to expand its horizons. This book is not about how you should or may behave, but about how you can behave, should you so choose. This book isn't just knowledge, it's transformation of the mind.

You should read the whole book, top to bottom, because there are many things that are written in different places but are connected, so if you don't read it all, you may miss important things.

The sexual lifestyle presented in this book is described from the point of view of a monogamous heterosexual couple (= a man and a woman), together for an indefinite amount of time, and faithful and honest to each other. Why "monogamous"? Because I'm trying to show you how to concentrate on your... job and have a great time, not how to change partners.

But even though the book's point of view is that of a man and a woman, when trying to understand the sexual relationship between genders, you should never put biological or psychological barriers in your way. In fact, the gender has no relevance in obtaining pleasure from sexual behavior, or understanding this pleasure. Do not think that men should behave a certain way, and women another way, ways which are socially acceptable. Social acceptability distorts the understanding of sexuality, it doesn't improve it.

Both you and your partner should read this book because you should know the same things about sexuality, you should be able to share information, you should have a common ground.

The book is about freedom of mind, about sexual freedom, but not about being libertine. The book promotes the understanding and acceptance of sexuality, not hedonism (= devotion to physical pleasure). It is mostly about sexual attitude, rather than techniques. It tries to tell you about sexuality, it tries to remove the sexual taboos from your mind, it tries to break the communication barriers between you and your partner. It teaches you about the ways that improve your sexual life, and how to start it in the best possible way.

The book doesn't tell you what to do, but what you can do. It shows you what you can choose.

The book doesn't pour knowledge into your mind; you'll have to learn in time, year after year, as each taboo is washed away by the experience and stability that you gain.

The book is not a scientific dictionary, but scientific terms are used in hope that they will make you more responsible toward sex, that is, hopefully you'll see that sex is more than pure lust: it's Art!

This book is not for people who are ashamed of their own sexuality. When you start reading, if you feel embarrassed, stop, free your mind of shame and guilt, then continue to read! It is for people who want to learn about sexuality without fear, for people who have sexual fantasies, for those who know (or want to learn) that masturbation and sex with a partner are ways to feel better, to relax.

You might be disgusted by some of the things which are written here, but you should consider that your disgust is relevant only in the context of a relationship, that is, only if you have a partner who wants to do these things with you, despite your negative response to such requests. Try not to be offended by questions whose goal is to find out what you think about one thing or another. Your partner is just exploring to see who you are, what you want, what you like and what you accept. He / she may be trying to pressure you into doing things which you consider perverse, but you can't see this from a few questions about your potentially "dirty" / unusual sexual preferences.

All things in this book are meant to make you get used with them, so that you put shame and taboos aside because they limit your understanding of sexuality. Hygiene is the most important thing in breaking the chains of your mind: if you are and feel clean and healthy then you have no reason to be embarrassed by your own sexuality, because a man's and a woman's bodies are beautiful.

Sexuality is natural! There is nothing to be ashamed of! Still, don't go on the other side and not be careful about things! Don't become negligent! The less shame you have, the more responsible you have to become; you have to compensate the lack of shame (= the natural instinctual "protector" of your mind) with responsibility.

Mind and body link together and form a personality. Always have that in mind when reading this book. To have a deep understanding of sexuality it doesn't matter how intelligent you are, but it does matter how many and how strong your psychological barriers are. Some psychological barriers are: fear, shame, and denial (born from fear or shame). If you think sex is bad or ugly then these are your psychological barriers which you have to overcome in order to be able to have the best (long-term) sexual experience possible. Psychological barriers break a person's dreams into pieces, they bring down his / her intelligence. To become a more balanced person you have to see the barriers, analyze them and ultimately overcome them. This doesn't mean that you have to destroy your psychological barriers, but only that you have to analyze and see which ones you have to overcome and up to which level to do that (to set new limits for your psychological barriers). Most psychological barriers are there for a reason, like fear that keeps you safe when crossing a street.

Everything around is perceived only because our brain processes information. If our brain would not process the sensorial information, it just wouldn't matter what is and what is not out there.

This is why it is crucial to teach our brain in the way we want it to develop. For example, if you say you would give an arm to have a beautiful life, your brain would be terrorized. You would be be willing to trade something good for something good. Why not trade something bad for something good? Simply tell yourself that you would give your ignorance, stupidity, ugliness, whatever bad thing you can think of, all in exchange for a wonderful life.

Sounds weird? That is only because of the psychological barriers you have! Do not give away something good you have! Always strip your mind of something bad, something ugly. Teach your mind to blossom by taking away from it the bad things and throwing them away. It doesn't matter if you can give or not to your mind good things, but it does matter if you can take from it the bad things and release it from their pressure.

Sexuality is one of the humans' basic needs, just like water, food, shelter, and care. Sex is how mature people play with their bodies and minds, and have a good time together. Sex is a significant part of life. It is not separate from everything else. It shapes you!

All people are sexual beings:

• If you accept sexuality it means you are a being full of sexuality because you embrace it.
• If you reject sexuality it means you are a being full of sexuality because run from it.
• If you ignore sexuality it means you are a being full of sexuality because avoid it.
• If you don't know sexuality it means you are a being full of sexuality because though you were born from it, life ends with you since you are blind to it.

The brain plays the most important part in sexuality. It is the sexual organ, while the genital organs are just appendices used because of their mobility in the reproductive process.

Sexuality is not knowledge about positions, number of partners and wholes, penetration, or fluids! Sexuality is a state of mind, a state of mind which influences all the other aspects of your life. Why a state of mind? Because it is all about what you want and expect from life! Sexuality is about both sensibility and domination (of your partner). Sexuality is the personality of a human being.

Sexuality is not a sexual act, but a multitude of moments of psychological and physical experiences, all connected in time! It is stability throughout your entire life!

Look at the sexual experience from both points of view: theoretical and practical. This book will take care of the theoretical part, while you'll have to take care of the practical part. Don't rush with the practical part! Be sure to first understand the theoretical part! Also, don't rush your partner! Be sure you're both ready for a sexual experience! Patience!

Sex requires responsibility. Sexual partners need to share responsibility for birth control. They should also protect each other from STDs.

The sexual understanding and behavior of single people are different than the ones of couples. For open-minded people, the sexual understanding is improved in couples because their fantasies are fulfilled by their partners, within the relationship. But if one of the partners is not open-minded, the sexual relation can end in disaster since the other one is constantly frustrated (and may also stress his / her partner, directly or indirectly).

Communication is very important. Sex can mean different things to different people, but it's not a good substitute for communication. Some people expect sex to bring them closer, but sex can get in the way of intimacy, especially if you and your partner aren't communicating. Sex can strengthen a relationship, but it won't bring two strangers closer.

Sometimes one partner is having sex just to have sex, while the other expects a long-term relationship, and this is because people perceive sexuality in different ways: men instinctively want to spread their genes, whereas women instinctively need to choose from the available men. You need to talk to your partner to be sure you're clear with each other about what each wants from the relationship.

Most people don't need to see their partner only physically naked, but also emotionally naked. Long-term physical intimacy can't exist without emotional intimacy and stability.

Talk with your partner about sexuality, before you make love. Learn what each of you wants, likes, and accepts.

Give your partner as much as you want to receive, and the same things you want to receive! Think equality (with your partner)! Not an intrinsic equality, but rather one that you both have to constantly fight for.

Love the way sex brings you closer to your partner! Love the way it deepens your understanding and appreciation of your partner! Love the pleasure it brings into both your lives! Love the delightful altered state of consciousness, the happiness and trust it creates in both you and your partner!

Relationships suffer when partners ignore their own pleasure, or the pleasure of their partner. When both partners are interested in pleasing themselves as well as one another, communication improves between them, and this leads to a better psychological and physical relationship.

Understanding what gives you sexual pleasure can improve sex with a partner. Every person has different feelings about sexual pleasure. Many people learn about what they like and don't like, through masturbation.

It is wrong for your partner to pressure you into having sex, ask you to take risks, or ignore your feelings. It is also not a good sign if your partner keeps secrets from you.

Avoid regrets! Trust your feelings about becoming sexually involved. Try to ignore the pressure to be sexually active or inactive.

Sex is something that has to exist only between you and your partner. Nobody else is involved unless you let someone else get involved (physically or mentally)! Forget what other people told you is morally good or bad. You and your partner are the only people who can decide this. Share with your partner what you feel is good or simply acceptable, and what is bad and unacceptable for you.

Good sex isn't about reaching orgasm, but it's about sharing each other's orgasm, and mostly about "traveling" to the orgasm. Educate your sexual instinct, don't let it rush you to its end: the orgasm!

Good sex is dirty: sweat, saliva, natural and artificial lubrication fluids, ejaculated fluids! If you try to avoid getting physically dirty (or thinking "dirty"), you miss its point: sex is a bunch of "weird things", things that you wouldn't normally do. Sex is the only time you can get physically and emotionally dirty without having regrets about doing so.

Much of what people learn about the opposite sex is acquired in the early teenage years, and much of it is inaccurate, or, at best, incomplete. This information rarely changes at maturity. Each gender behaves not only as they normally do, but also as they are expected to (that is, how the opposite gender thinks they should behave), and they are often happy to comply with these expectations though many are false. Communication is critical to break the myths about the other gender.

The genital organs can be a blessing or a curse. If you want to see them as a blessing then it is not difficult to learn how, and see how gorgeous they are. Like any other part of your body, the more you know about them, the easier it is to stay healthy. It is also important to see what this part of your body looks like.

Love your body! It's the only one you'll ever have! Love your partner's body! Perfection is boring. Every person wants to change his / her partner's body. But if there is nothing more to change, what's left beside emptiness? Life is not a fantasy! In real life, emptiness does exist! So, a perfect partner would be boring because it leads to emptiness, to lack of change.

The color of the skin of the sexual organs usually differs from the color of skin of the rest of the body. The skin of the sexual organs is usually darker than for the rest of the body.

The genital organs are the organs humans use to reproduce themselves (= to make children), particularly the penis and the vulva. However, the genital organs also include the internal reproductive organs: testicles, ovaries, vagina, uterus. The genital organs can be used to produce pleasure, both directly (by stimulating / rubbing them) and indirectly (by looking at or thinking of them).

The sexual organs are the parts and organs of the body which have a significant role in the sexual behavior: the genital organs, the buttocks, the anus, the breasts (the chest, in the case of men). The buttocks and the breasts are sexual organs because their biological role and because their closeness to the genital organs. Their size and shape indicate the health and the ability of the person to reproduce. The anus is perceived by the brain as a sexual organ probably only because it's close to the genital organs and buttocks, and because it can be penetrated by a penis.

The pubis is a mound of fatty tissue that covers the pubic bone, below the abdomen and above the genital organs.

The pubic hair grows on the pubis. It continues down and around the external genital organs and even beyond the anus.

The shaft is the main part of the penis and clitoris. It is a cylindrical organ. In penises, the shaft is widest in the middle. At the outer end of the shaft is the glans (= the head) of the penis and clitoris, the most sensitive spot on a person's body. If the glans is stimulated, the sexual pleasure reaches its maximum.

The corpora cavernosa are two spongy bodies of the penis and clitoris, which traverse the length of the shaft, one on each side, and erect the organ when they become filled with blood.

The prepuce (= foreskin, hood) is the skin that covers the glans. It can be rolled back to expose the glans.

Just underneath the prepuce is a juncture called frenum. It is the junction of the prepuce and of the shaft. If the frenum breaks, the prepuce can be pulled back even more than normally. The frenum is one of the most sensitive spot on a person's body.

Smegma is a sebaceous (= fatty) secretion, with a jelly texture, white, and bad smell, usually found under the prepuce. At women it also occurs between labia. It is imperative that you wash it away! It has been associated with some genital diseases.

Erection is a physiological process when a part of the body becomes firmer and enlarged (like longer or thicker); the erectile tissue surrounding the body part becomes filled with blood. The parts of the body than can become erected are: the penis, the clitoris, the vestibular bulbs, the small labia, and the nipples. There are also some other parts of the body which change their size, shape and position during sexual stimulation: the breasts (become bigger), the vagina (becomes longer), and the uterus (moves up into the body).

The meatus is a small slit at the tip of the penis, and in the vaginal vestibule (below the clitoris), which allows urine and ejaculated fluid to exit outside the body. Its average length is 5 millimeters (1/5 of an inch).

Urine is the waste product produced by the kidneys, transparent or yellow to amber colored, slightly acid. Urine is normally antiseptic, that is, can be used as disinfectant because it contains no harmful bacteria.

The bladder is the organ which stores urine until you pee. It is important that you pee when you need to, else (in time) the bladder and the urethral sphincters suffer.

A bashful bladder is a situation when a person has difficulty urinating (usually) in a public bathroom. The problem is exacerbated if the bathroom is silent or noisy, crowded, or there is almost no privacy. In addition, long trips (in a car, bus, airplane) make the problem worse. There is no solution for this because the muscles that control the flow of urine are not entirely under voluntary control. Over time, with aging, the problem tends to gradually reduce.

The urethra is the passage which allows urine and ejaculated fluid to move toward the meatus. It is a tube that extends from the bladder to the meatus. In men it is about 16 centimeters (a little more than 6 inches) long, and in women it is between 3 and 5 centimeters (between one inch and 2 inches). Its diameter is 7 to 8 millimeters. The urethra of a woman is much more elastic than the urethra of a man, and can be dilated to a diameter up to 25 millimeters (one inch); the area which is the least elastic, is the meatus.

The pubococcygeal muscle (or PC muscle) sustains the genital organs. Toning it, by repeated contractions, can enhance the quality of your orgasms. When you pee, feel what muscle you use to stop urinating; that is a part of the PC muscle, but the PC muscle goes deeper into the body (and this is what you have to learn to, partially, control). It also surrounds the anus.

The anus is the opening at the end of the digestive system, through which feces (= alimentary waste) are discharged from the body. It has two sphincters (= muscle rings) surrounding it, next to each other: the outer and the inner sphincters; they are the ring shaped muscles that squeeze to close the anus.

Each sphincter functions independently. You can voluntarily control the external sphincter. The internal sphincter is controlled by the involuntary (= autonomic) part of the nervous system. The sphincter reflects and responds to fear during anal sex. It causes the anus to tense up automatically even if the receiver is trying to relax.

The rectum is the canal which ends at the anus (although, some people don't include the anal canal in it, which is the outermost part of the rectum). The anal canal is about 5 centimeters (2 inches) long. Beyond it, the rectum bends toward the back of the body. The anal canal is the part which can be penetrated without problems, during anal sex.

The rectum is generally insensitive and responds mostly to pressure, and doesn't generate pleasure. The anal canal is normally empty: it is a passage for feces, not a storage place.

The rectum is an organ, not a hole!

In women, the tissue between the rectum and vagina is thin, and fingers can be felt from one side to the other.

The perineum is the region between the thighs, between the bottom of the genital organs, and the anus.

Adipose tissue (also called fatty tissue) is tissue that absorbs and stores fat, just as a sponge absorbs and stores water.

A hormone is a chemical substance secreted into the bloodstream by specialized glands. It carries instructions throughout the body.

A pheromone is a chemical substance secreted by the body, which acts as (an invisible) messenger for other people. The genital organs secrete the highest amount of pheromones; the anus also secrete them.

A taboo is a strong inhibition / rejection resulting from social custom or emotional aversion.

People have various concerns and problems about their body or about the body of the opposite gender.

Men and women have concerns about the length and size of their penises and breasts. Penises and breasts come in different shapes and sizes. Some people like them bigger, others smaller, but most in between, just as they usually are.

Sometimes men just can't pee into the toilet! This happens because the penis is always moving. It is constantly changing its status from being flaccid to being erected, and that makes it change its position in the pants, curl and bend and twist and push through the underwear. The prepuce is being pulled off the glans when the penis goes into erection, then cover the glans when the penis goes flaccid (here, the underwear can get caught between the glans and the prepuce), and again and again and again...

All these things make, sometimes, the two sides of the meatus stick together in various positions. When the man pees, for one second the urine is directed by the meatus in any other direction than straight forward, until the sides of the meatus are split apart by the pressure of the urine. Thus, the man misses the toilet!

The penis is the most important part of the genital organs of men. It is located between the man's legs.

The penis doesn't contain any bone. It is composed of 3 cylinders of spongy erectile tissue that have the capacity to expand when they are filled with blood (which is what makes an erection).

The shaft is not just the visible part (outside the body), but continues inside the body as well. The perineum bulges out because of the internal part of the shaft which goes through it. You can feel that when a man has an erection the perineum is firmer.

The shaft of the penis is not too sensitive to touch, but pain occurs if it is pressured too much.

The glans of the penis is slightly larger in diameter than the shaft (to which it connects). Its length is around 1/3 of the total length of the (flaccid) penis. It is extremely sensitive to touch; it's so sensitive that it's uncomfortable or even painful to touch it directly with a finger. In order to generate pleasure, it has to be touched indirectly (by rubbing it through the prepuce, or rolling the prepuce up and down fast, during masturbation), or with something wet (like the tongue, or wet fingers).

The ridge where the glans joins with the shaft is called corona.

The groove between the glans and the shaft is called sulcus. Pull back (as much as the frenum allows it) the prepuce to see it.

The prepuce is an extension of the skin that covers the shaft, and starts just below the sulcus, and normally covers the glans when the penis is flaccid. The prepuce can be pulled back to expose both the glans, the corona and the sulcus.

Just underneath the corona, on the lower side of the sulcus, is the frenum. If the frenum breaks, the prepuce can be pulled back even more than normally.

Sometimes it may be necessary to squeeze the penis, for example when you want to get all the semen out after an ejaculation. Don't press your fingers on the penis, but hold it tight from just under the glans (with the thumb on the upper side of the shaft of the penis, and two fingers on the under side) and then gently move your hand (and the prepuce with it) toward the tip of the glans.

The normal status of a penis is flaccid (= soft, floppy). The average length in this state is 7...9 centimeters (3...4 inches). The measurement is performed on the shortest line, when the penis is perpendicular on the body, on the upper side of the penis, from abdomen (the pubis) to the tip of the glans. In extreme cold (like freezing water), the length of a penis can shrink to even 4 centimeters (1.5 inches).

The length of a penis when it is erected has little to do with its length when it is flaccid: they are not proportional.

A penis becomes erect when blood is trapped inside it. An erected penis is rigid and straight (with some normal curves).

Erections are not under voluntary control, and sometimes they happen when they aren't wanted, embarrassing the man.

The average length of an erected penis is around 14.5 centimeters (about 6 inches), but its normal between 11 and 19 centimeters. Its average circumference (in the middle) is between 11 and 14 centimeters, its width is about 4.5 centimeters (almost 2 inches), and its height about 3.5 centimeters (about 1.5 inches).

The only advantage of a bigger (erected) penis is that it looks impressive, but as for functionality it is not that good and it can hurt a woman's vagina. A short penis doesn't have many disadvantages because a woman is usually pleasured through the stimulation of the clitoris, and since the penis is inside the vagina, only the thrust of the bodies actually stimulates the clitoris.

In fact, a thicker (rather than a longer) penis is more satisfying to a woman because a thicker one stimulates the vagina better due to the stronger pressure it exerts on its walls, whereas a longer one is more likely to hit the cervix and thus make the woman feel pain.

An erected penis changes in size according to the degree of sexual arousal: the more aroused a man is, the stronger the erection gets, that is, the penis gets firmer and slightly bigger. In some cases the erection can be painful. However, it should be noted that a weak erection doesn't last for more than a few tens of seconds, after which a penis is either fully erected or goes flaccid.

The erection varies during arousal: it gets weaker and stronger in turns. This is necessary for the good health of the penis (actually for the erectile mechanism). If the penis would be in erection for too long, it would eventually be damaged (particularly the valves that shut to keep the blood trapped inside the penis) and thus unable to become erected when needed later.

Penises have some greater or lesser degree of curve on vertical (but also on horizontal) when they are erect. In most men, the shaft is curved with its middle part downward (or away from the abdomen).

The nocturnal erection is the erection of the penis, during sleep, and occurs throughout a man's life. It is associated with erotic and wet dreams.

The scrotum is a sac of wrinkled skin, which hangs behind and below the penis, and contains the testicles. The scrotum's primary function is to maintain the testicles at approximately 34 Celsius (93 Fahrenheit), the temperature at which the testicles produce sperm most effectively.

The two halves of the scrotum are divided by a wall of muscle, and they each contain a testicle. Externally you can see a line, called raphe, which divides the scrotum on the center. The raphe extends from the frenum, going on the underside of the penis, to the middle of the scrotum and then through the perineum to the anus.

The two plum-like testicles which hang within the scrotum produce sperm and testosterone (a hormone). Within each testicle is a kilometer of ducts called the seminiferous tubules, the organs which generate sperm. Each testicle produces between 60 and 150 million sperms in each cubic centimeter, every 24 hours.

Their length is between 4 and 5 centimeters (about two inches). Their diameter is about 3 centimeters (a little more than one inch) on one axis, and 2.5 centimeters (one inch) on the other axis.

Their weight is between 20 and 30 grams (0.7 to 1 ounce).

Testicles vary in size from man to man. Usually, one testicle is slightly larger than the other, and also one (usually the left one) hangs slightly lower than the other with 1 centimeter (half of inch).

Testicles are sensitive to temperature and pressure. They don't like to get too hot or too cold. When they get too cold (or when the man is near orgasm), the scrotum shrinks and pulls them up against the body, almost under the skin of the pubis, while the scrotum contracts tight on the testicles. When they get too warm, the scrotum extends, just hanging loose.

Though the testicles are sensitive to pain, men usually (especially during arousal) enjoy the feeling of squeezing or pulling up or down their scrotum, and so indirectly touching (possibly with some pressure), rubbing and moving around the testicles. However, if you hit them, you will feel pain later (even if only after a few hours).

The epididymis is a tube-like structure found at the top edge and along the back of the testicle, where semen produced by the seminiferous tubules matures; the semen stays here until ejaculation. They collect semen from the testicles and carry it to the vas deferens. You can feel the vas deferens and blood vessels above the epididymis. The epididymis and testicles are anchored to the body by the spermatic cord (a bundle of nerves and blood vessels).

The vas deferens are the ducts leading from the epididymis to the seminal vesicles, which carry semen to the prostate and into the urethra (during ejaculation). This is the where sperm get mixed up with some of the other ingredients that make semen. Sperm themselves are only about 2% to 5% of the volume of the semen; the rest is formed by other fluids produced by several different glands.

The seminal vesicles produce seminal fluid.

The ejaculatory glands are the paths through the seminal vesicles, which semen travels during ejaculation.

The prostate is a donut-like gland wrapped around the urethra. It produces a fluid which is included in the semen, fluid which form about 30% of the total volume of semen. The prostate also shuts the urethral duct to the bladder, thus preventing urine from mixing with the semen.

The average dimensions of the prostate are 4, 3, and 2.5 centimeters.

Its weight is between 20 and 25 grams (almost one ounce).

The prostate is immediately behind the rectal wall, about 5 centimeters (2 inches) inside the rectum. It can be felt by inserting a finger through the anus and feeling along the anterior (toward the abdomen) rectal wall for a round bulb.

The prostate is very sensitive to pressure and touch. For most men, touching or rubbing it makes them feel as if they need to urinate and is not pleasurable. However, some men feel pleasure during its stimulation.

The Cowper's glands secrete a small amount of fluid prior to ejaculation, all the time the man is sexually stimulated. This fluid neutralizes the acidity within the urethra and lubricates the glans of the penis during sex. It's transparent, oily and has almost no taste.

The semen is the fluid which men (normally) ejaculate when they have an orgasm. It is warm immediately after it is ejaculated. It protects the sperm after it has left the body. It has a texture similar to the white of a raw egg, but has a white or yellow-white color (it's not transparent).

The normal quantity of semen, in an adult man, is 2...5 milliliters - a teaspoon.

If it stays in the open air for a few minutes (for example, 15 minutes), it becomes more fluid and semitransparent.

Among other things, semen contains: ammonia, ascorbic acid, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, citric acid, creatine, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, sorbitol, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, water, and zinc. The caloric content of an average ejaculate is 5...15 calories.

When semen is fresh, it smells somewhat like fish; it smells rather bad after it dries.

The semen has a fade taste. If tastes (like): bitter, salty, bleach. When you swallow it, it feels like when you swallow the white of a raw egg. Depending on what the man eats, his semen may taste differently. In general, meat (fish included), fatty foods, and some spices produce a bad taste. Dairy products create the worst taste. Acidic fruits (like apples) and alcohol give it a pleasant flavor.

The semen contains sperm. A sperm is what fertilizes an ovum, thus leading to pregnancy.

Sperm may be present in pre-ejaculatory fluid (= the lubricant) of the man, and is even more likely to exist if the sexual act is repeated within a few hours.

Sperm which isn't ejaculated, live in the epididymis for 4 to 6 weeks before they are reabsorbed into the body. This is why it's impossible (even if you never ejaculate) to have excess of sperm in your body. Outside the body, sperm can only survive in warm and moist areas; sperm die after it dries.

The time when sperm is first produced (in the entire life of a man) is called spermache.

Andropause is like menopause, but has far less visible influence over men than menopause has over women.

Every time after you pee, wipe (with toilet-paper) the entire glans (especially the meatus and the underside) of your penis, so that there would be no wetness on it. Don't slide the paper over the skin, just press it where the skin is wet, to absorb the wetness (whether urine or sweat).

You have to be very thorough when washing your penis!

Wash your hands with soap, and then shower your penis with warm water. Pull back (as much as you can, but don't force it) the prepuce to expose the whole glans of the penis (including the sulcus).

Shower your penis and rub soap on the entire penis. Rinse the penis and your hands.

Rinse again the entire penis, rubbing well everywhere. How do you know you're clean enough? Well, would you... lick it? You are clean enough when the answer is yes! (No, you don't have to actually do it!)

Make sure you wash the scrotum too!

Men should perform a testicular self-examination monthly.

The best time to examine your testicles is during or after a hot shower. The heat causes the testicles to descend, and relaxes the scrotum. This makes it easier for you to find any abnormalities.

Examine the whole surface of each testicle with the fingers of one hand. With the other hand hold the testicle. Feel for any irregularity or lumps on the surface of the testicles. Also feel for swellings, pain or significant difference in size between the testicles (remember that one is usually larger than the other one). Report any abnormality to your physician.

Do not confuse the epididymis with an abnormality!

A man's genital examination by a physician is called andrologic examination.

Every year or two men should get a physical examination.

The examination will start with a conversation. The physician will ask you questions about your health, and you can ask about anything that's on your mind.

The examination involves examining your testicles, penis, and prostate. The physician will look for any signs of abnormality by gently touching your testicles. These signs include bumps or lumps, or having one testicle significantly larger than the other.

A rectal examination is performed to see if the prostate is enlarged. This rarely happens in adolescents, so a rectal examination is not usually needed at that age.

The vulva is the external genital organ of a woman, and is formed by all visible parts. It is located between the woman's legs. However, the external and internal genital organs, as an entity, of a woman are also called vulva.

The pubis is also called Mons Veneris (= mountain of Venus).

Between labia minora (on horizontal), and between the clitoris and the bottom of the vaginal entrance (on vertical), is the vaginal vestibule. The urethra and vagina open into the vaginal vestibule.

The vulva of the vast majority of women is visible from the front when the woman stands. The average length, from clitoris to the end of the labia majora, is about 8 centimeters (a little more than 3 inches).

The vulva has a distinctive odor, but if it's clean and healthy the smell should not be unpleasant.

Labia majora are also called big / outer labia.

The labia majora are the two vertical luscious, thick, wrinkled folds of adipose tissue that lie on either side of the vulva, forming its lateral boundaries. They begin at the pubis (above the clitoral hood) and end at the perineum (at the bottom of the vulva). They blend into the body at each end, but are pretty well formed at the top, while they just fade at the bottom.

Their normal length is between 7 and 10 centimeters (3 and 4 inches), and their width 1...1.5 centimeters (half of inch).

The distance between their lower side and the anus is about 2.5 centimeters (one inch).

At some women they are closed while at others are opened, exposing the labia minora. They generally let the clitoral hood protrude through them, at the top.

Labia majora are prominent in some women and minimal in others. For most, the skin is darker than the surrounding skin.

Labia majora are normally covered with hair, and contain numerous sweat and oil glands.

Labia minora are also called small / inner labia.

Labia minora are soft, thin and hairless flaps of skin, surrounded by labia majora. They begin from the clitoris, go down around the vaginal entrance, and join at the perineum; at some women they don't join at the bottom, they just fade into the body. At some women they almost miss.

The labia minora vary in size, shape and color. One labium may be larger than the other. They can be from tiny ones that hide between the labia majora, to large ones that protrude between labia majora.

Their average length is 3 centimeters (a little more than 1 inch), and their width 1 centimeter (about half of inch).

During sexual stimulation, they swell and turn red as they get filled with blood.

Above the meatus, right below the pubis, the labia minora join to form a soft fold of skin called the clitoral hood, which covers the clitoris. It can be rolled back to expose the clitoris.

Just under the clitoris they join again to form the frenum.

They tend to exit between the big labia, sometimes near the top otherwise near the bottom, though sometimes they are completely covered.

Both labia majora and minora are sensitive to touch and pressure; the labia minora are much more sensitive.

Covered by the clitoral hood is the clitoris. Like the penis, it is made of erectile tissue that swells during sexual arousal.

The clitoris is formed from its glans, shaft and crus. Only the glans and a small part of the shaft are outside the woman's body. The crus of the clitoris has two parts which start from the shaft and stretch on both sides of the vagina.

The size of the clitoris varies a lot from woman to woman, from very small which is difficult to expose from under the clitoral hood, to that which protrudes the clitoral hood even without being erected.

It is extremely sensitive to touch; it's so sensitive that it's uncomfortable or even painful to touch it directly with a finger. In order to generate pleasure, it has to be touched indirectly (by rubbing it through the prepuce, or rolling the prepuce up and down fast, during masturbation), or with something wet (like the tongue, or wet fingers).

The clitoris, like the penis, is an erectile organ: it swells (being filled with blood) during sexual arousal. The glans of the clitoris is not formed from erectile tissue.

Usually, in women that are not sexually stimulated, the clitoris is completely covered by the clitoral hood. During sexual stimulation, the clitoris erects and extends through the clitoral hood, becoming visible, in order to make it more accessible for stimulation.

In some women, even the erected clitoris doesn't protrude the clitoral hood.

A flaccid clitoris is about 7 centimeters (almost 3 inches) long, and 3.5 / 5 millimeters (1/5 of an inch) in width / height. The crus has 3 centimeters (a little more than one inch), the shaft has 3 centimeters, and the glans has 1 centimeter (half of inch). Only a small part of the shaft is outside the body; this part and the glans are normally hidden by the clitoral hood. The average part of the clitoris which is outside the body of the woman is about 1.5 centimeters (a little more than half of inch).

The average distance between the tip of the clitoral hood and the meatus is 2.5 centimeters (one inch).

On each side of the vaginal vestibule there is an erectile bulb. Their upper sides are close to the clitoris.

The average size of each bulb is 3 centimeters in length, 1.5 centimeters in height, and 1 centimeter in width.

During a sexual act, these bulbs squeeze the penis.

The vagina connects the vulva to the uterus. It opens to the outside of the body, below the meatus, in what is called the vaginal entrance. This is where menstrual blood and vaginal discharge come out, and where the penis goes in during genital sex.

The vagina is an organ, a muscle, not a hole. Its walls are less than 3 millimeters (about a tenth of an inch) thick. It is linked to the body by ligaments. This is why you have to take great care with it!

If nothing is inside the vagina, the vaginal walls touch each other. The walls of the vagina have 3 layers. The visible layer is called mucosa, and is similar to the inside of the mouth. Under the mucosa is a layer of tissue that can fill with blood; this tissue swells when a woman is sexually aroused. The deepest layer is a coat of muscle.

The inside of the vagina is corrugated (it has rugae), that is, it has folds, ridges, bumps. The rugae meet in the middle in a ridge called columna rugarum. This texture allows the vagina to expand during arousal, to accommodate various sizes of penises and for child birth.

The vagina extends from the vaginal entrance to the cervix. The average vagina is 8...9 centimeters (3...4 inches) long / deep, but is normal between 4 and 14 centimeters (about 2 and 6 inches), possibly a little longer in women who have given birth. The wall toward the rectum is 1...2 centimeters (about half of inch) longer due to its position relative to the uterus.

This may seem short in relation to an erected penis, but during sexual arousal it elongates (= increases in length, and the cervix lifts upward) to about 12 centimeters (5 inches).

The average length of a vagina, on the axis from the clitoris toward the anus, is 2.5 centimeters (one inch).

The normal color of the vagina is pink, and red-violet during menstruation.

At either side of the vaginal entrance are the Bartholin's glands, which produce small amounts of lubricating fluid, to keep the labia minora moist during sex.

The urethral sponge surrounds the urethra. It fills with blood during sexual arousal; this results in the tissue becoming firm to the touch.

It is thought to store the fluid that women ejaculate (see Ejaculated fluid at women).

The paraurethral glands are thought to produce the fluid that women ejaculate (see Ejaculated fluid at women). The most outer two glands are called Skene's glands; they open around the meatus. The paraurethral glands are inside the urethral sponge. They surround and drain into the urethra, near the meatus. The paraurethral glands vary in size from one woman to another, and are even missing in some women. They are the equivalent of the prostate.

Healthy vaginas have bacteria inside, but they don't normally cause any harm. However, sometimes they can cause a vaginal infection.

The fornix is the recess formed by the protrusion of the cervix into the vagina.

The vaginal fluids are made of various fluids: vaginal discharge, lubrication fluids, ejaculated fluids, other fluids.

The vaginal fluids smell and taste (like): semen, tangy, spicy, battery, lemony, musty, honey, coffee, cinnamon. This varies during the menstrual cycle.

Women can notice a vaginal discharge on their underwear; this is normal. Just as a mouth is always wet with saliva, a vagina is always wet with some fluid. This fluid is important because it destroys germs. It should be clear or (yellow-)white, and have very little smell. It may be watery or thick. The appearance and amount of this fluid change at different times in a woman's cycle. It is usually more abundant at ovulation and during stressful times.

If the discharge has a strong or bad smell, if it itches, or if it has a strange color, it could be a sign of a vaginal infection or an STD. This should be checked by a physician, because some of these problems are serious and spread easily.

Many women are disturbed by this, but trying to get rid of it is not healthy because this is what keeps the vagina clean of bacteria, and maintains a careful acid balance, vital to the vagina's health.

In general, the discharge is normal unless it is spotted with blood (and you aren't menstruating), or it itches, or is greenish in color.

An exaggerated vaginal discharge is called leukorrhea.

When ovulating or aroused, a vagina produces a different fluid, clear and slippery.

Female ejaculation is controversial in scientific circles, but there are several studies which show that the fluid ejaculated by some women during orgasm is not urine. It is thought that the fluid is produced by the paraurethral glands and stored by the urethral sponge.

The hymen is a soft, thin membrane, with a hole (or holes) for the menstrual blood to flow through, which partially blocks the entrance into the vagina. The hymen is inside the vaginal opening, at about 1 centimeter (half of an inch) deep.

Hymens may look any number of ways. The hymen can even miss from birth. The usual shape of a hymen has a single perforation and is either annular (= circular) or crescentic (it looks like the Moon in its quarter). Other shapes are cribriform (where the hymen has many small perforations) and septate (where there are two adjacent perforations).

A cribriform hymen may be the cause of significant pain during defloration due to the fact that the penis can't enter through any whole in order to tear it.

The hymen can be elastic, in a small percentage of women, meaning that it doesn't break even when a penis enters into the vagina. This type of hymen either breaks or has to be surgically cut when the woman gives birth.

The hymen can imperforated, with no wholes. This is a bad thing because the menstrual blood has no way out of the vagina. When the girl has her menarche, the blood accumulates into the vagina and forms an abdominal swelling associated with severe abdominal pain. In this case, the girl must be taken immediately to a physician so that a small incision could be made to the hymen, for the menstrual blood to flow out.

The hymen can be torn during the first vaginal penetration by a penis, using a tampon, having hard physical activity (like riding a bicycle or a horse, or gymnastics), masturbation (if the women puts her fingers, or some similar object, into her vagina). After the hymen is torn, little folds of tissue remain in the shape of an irregular ring.

The uterus is the main reproductive organ of a woman. The inner lining of the uterus, called endometrium, grows and changes during the menstrual cycle to prepare to receive a fertilized ovum, and eliminates a layer at the end of every menstrual cycle if fertilization doesn't happen. The uterus is lined with powerful muscles to push the child out during birth.

The size of the uterus of a woman who has never given birth is about: 6.5 centimeters long, 4 centimeters width (where it is widest), and 2 centimeters thick. Its internal volume is between 3 and 4 cubic centimeters.

Its weight is between 50 and 70 grams (about 2 ounces).

The uterus has two main parts: the body cavity and the cervix. The body cavity is triangular. The tip is downward and makes up the internal os, which opens into the cervical canal. The external os is the cervical canal constricted on its lower end (toward the vagina). The external os opens into the vagina. The uterus has three coats / layers: mucous, muscle, and serous.

If a man ejaculates his semen into a woman's vagina, sperm travel up the vagina, through the cervical canal, into the uterus and then in the fallopian tubes. If they meet and fertilize an ovum, a pregnancy may begin.

The uterus in a non-pregnant woman is about the size of an orange. It has thick muscular walls. If nothing is inside, the walls of the uterus touch each other.

The cervix is the part of the uterus which is inside the vagina, and looks like a dome.

The cervical canal passes through the cervix and links the vagina with the inside of the uterus. Its opening in the vagina varies in diameter from 1 to 3 millimeters, depending to what moment of the menstrual cycle the measurement is taken. Its length is about 3 centimeters (a little more than one inch). The cervical canal is plugged with cervical mucus (a gel-like substance) to protect the uterus from infections. During ovulation the cervical canal opens a little, and its mucus becomes a thin, transparent fluid in order to allow semen to pass inside.

The placenta is a thick plaque of tissue that forms when an embryo attaches itself to the inner wall of the uterus, and which is joined to the fetus by the umbilical cord.

The fallopian tubes are the left and right tubes of the uterus that connect the uppermost part of the uterine cavity, laterally, with the ovaries. Their length is 10 to 12 centimeters (4 to 5 inches). The tubes serve as ducts for ovaries even though they are not connected to them. Fertilization occurs in the tubes.

The ovaries are about the size and shape of plumes. The ovaries perform two functions: the production of estrogen and progesterone, and the production of mature ova. At birth, the ovaries contain between 200'000 and 400'000 ova, and those are all there will ever be. However, that is far more than need, since during an average lifespan a woman "uses" between 300 and 400 ova (one for each menstrual cycles).

Their average dimensions are 4, 3, and 1 centimeters.

Their average weight is 7 grams (about a quarter ounce).

After maturing, an ovum travels through the fallopian tube, in 3 to 4 days, from the ovary to the uterus; this is called ovulation. This is the period during which a woman is fertile and pregnancy may occur. An ovum which is not fertilized is expelled during menstruation, but if it is fertilized by a sperm (from the semen of a man) it transforms into a zygote. A zygote will travel into the uterus and develop into a fetus.

Sometimes there may be some blood spotting for a day or two after ovulation; this is normal.

Corpus luteum is a yellow mass in the ovary formed after an ovum is released. It produces progesterone (= the pregnancy hormone), and grows and lasts for several months if the ovum is fertilized and pregnancy occurs.

Menstruation is a periodic bloody discharge from the uterus, through the vagina, 14 days after ovulation.

Menstruation is a sign of good health and fertility (the ability to get pregnant). It is a biological process: there is nothing wrong with it. A woman is as healthy during her menstruation as she is at any time. She can shower or bathe, swim or exercise, have sex, or do anything she would normally do.

During a menstrual cycle there are some changes into the woman's body: fluctuations in hormones levels, changes in cervical mucus secretion, breast vascularization changes, ovulation, and menstruation (if pregnancy doesn't occur). The menstrual cycle is also called estrus.

Menstrual cycles usually start between the ages of 11 and 15; however, menstruations can begin as early as 9 and as late as 17. They end at menopause. It is common for menstruations to be very irregular for the first year or so. Some women have a very regular menstrual cycle, every 28 days, for instance; others have an irregular cycle. The cycle may be longer one month than another. This is also normal. Most cycles are from 21 to 34 days. The average period of a menstrual cycle is 28 days.

About once a month, a woman's body gets ready for pregnancy. The lining of the uterus starts to thicken. About 2 weeks later, one of the ovaries releases an ovum. If sperm from a man doesn't fertilize the ovum, the thick lining of the uterus is not needed. Two other weeks later, the woman's body eliminates the lining through the vagina; this is the menstruation.

The flow usually starts light. It can get heavy for two or three days then get light again until it stops. It often starts with a rusty color and then gets redder. It hen turns to a rust color again until it stops. Usually, there are 4 to 6 tablespoonfuls of blood in the flow - a small amount. The rest of the flow is bits of the unused lining and other fluids. The blood may or may not contain clots of blood.

Menstruations usually last between 3 and 7 days. Menstruations may be longer or shorter, and bleeding may be heavier in some months than in others, especially when the woman starts having has her first menstrual cycles (this is called menarche).

Many things can affect menstruation, such as stress, sickness or fast weight loss. A while after menarche, most women find that their menstruations become regular.

Many women are uncomfortable or have cramps during menstruation. This is called PMS.

A woman may feel tired during her menstruation. Though menstruation doesn't weaken a woman's body, heavy bleeding may cause anemia - feeling tired because of a loss of red blood cells. In this case the woman should see a physician.

You may want to keep a calendar to help you predict when the next menstruation will occur (and so, when you need to wear pads).

Women who live together, in a large number, often experience menstruation at the same time because their pheromones trigger similar physiological reactions until they actually synchronize.

Many women are taught to feel dirty at menstruation, "trained" to feel inhibited about it. Some people, either men or women, tell to both men and women that (or they behave like) it's a bad thing. But you shouldn't accept that. You should try to feel as well as you can! You can't change your body and you shouldn't try that; it's like that because it needs to be like that (for the reproduction of humans). If you create psychological pressure on your body to stop menstruating that may destroy the natural balance of the body, and multiple psychological or physiological problems will occur.

If you think you're dirty, you'll always have a problem with menstruation and the problem will never decrease in intensity. So, the best way to cope with it is to make an effort to look at your body and to menstruation like it's a natural thing, because that's exactly what it is. Still, don't go on the other side and become negligent about it!

If you want to feel clean you'll just have to make it happen. Keep your vulva clean: use pads and wash it when you feel the need. Don't worry: even if you'll wash it 10 times a day it's not going to get washed away . So: pads, water, soap and fingers! Again, I have to point out that you must not wash (the inside of) your vagina with soap.

So, keep it clean and if somebody is trying to make you feel bad about it, just walk away with elegance and ignore that person. If you're not comfortable with a man seeing your vulva when you're menstruating, say that to him with elegance, don't keep the psychological pressure inside you: you have to communicate with that man, let him know what you think and feel. If the man cares about you, he will understand and back off with elegance too.

Since I can always remember, I've felt a wall between women and me because they are menstruating and feel pretty bad about it, and I don't have it (not that I want to have it!). I was always curious about it, I wanted to known / see how it is. Of course I can't say how it actually feels, so the only thing that I can do is make women feel better about their menstruation.

You should carefully consider that just because you want to make your man share your pain, doesn't mean that you should show him your vulva during menstruation. Just as you may not want to show him your menstruation, he may not want to see it. Sure, he may not have the courage to ask you to show him your menstruation, but don't risk it. Outside simple curiosity or fetish, no man would like to see it.

When you live together, both you and your man tend to become too intimate about some things, and that's just not good. You (and obviously him too) have to keep an aura of glamor, elegance; you have to show him a fresh woman all the time, otherwise, in (tens of) years, his mind would become tired of you. You would also become tired of yourself because you think or see that he is becoming tired of you. Too much physical intimacy leads to a feeling like you have just one body, that you know everything about each other, so there is no more mystery, no more interest.

PMS is short for "premenstrual syndrome".

Premenstrual syndrome consists of the changes that women may experience during the days before each of their menstruations begin.

Symptoms:

• Headaches.
• Feeling tired.
• Craving certain foods.
• Being unable to sleep.
• Feeling bloating or heavy.
• Tender breasts.

The most common psychological changes are: feeling depressed or sad, anxious, irritable, mood changes, difficulty to concentrate.

Not all women have PMS. Some women find that they have much more energy in the days before their menstruation.

Some women who have PMS notice only some of these changes. For some, however, the symptoms are so severe that their ability to function is affected.

Dysmenorrhea is the syndrome of painful menstruation; the symptoms may precede menstruation with a few days. Many women suffer of dysmenorrhea. In many cases, dysmenorrhea is so severe that it forces women to miss from work and school.

Symptoms:

• Cramps.
• Lower abdominal pain.
• Low-back pain.
• Thigh pain.
• Headache.
• Diarrhea.
• Nausea / vomiting.
• Heavy menstrual flow or irregular bleeding.
• Vaginal discharge.
• Dyspareunia.

One important way to regain your health is reflexology. Reflexology deals mainly with sole massage, using finger pressure. The modern promoter of reflexology was William Fitzgerald.

I am telling you about reflexology because of some personal experiences:

• At some point in time, my mother had some large breast-cyst that physicians (oncologists) said they have to operate; the surgery was delayed because there were no hospital beds available. Using reflexology (my father did it), after a few months of work, the cyst disappeared and there was no surgery. The family physician said she would have not believed it if she would have not seen it.
• A young woman, friend of mine, had a menstrual crisis. I have used reflexology on her and after 10 days the symptoms have disappeared (actually, after the first day the improvement was excellent). Normally, it has to be done a much longer time for the problem to disappear. Anyway, the massage can be done / resumed at any time, whether there is a problem or not.

Menopause is the period of time in which the menstruation ends (permanently) and means the end of fertility (= the end of the ability to get pregnant).

Menopause offers a woman new freedom from menstruation and from the need to use contraceptives because of fear of pregnancy.

Just like in the beginning, the last menstruations are irregular. Menopause takes a while (= years) to complete. Until it is complete, a woman can still become pregnant.

Menopause occurs because the ovaries produce fewer hormones. It takes a while for the body to adjust to this. Most women notice some changes in their bodies, but aren't bothered by them.

A common discomfort of menopause is having hot flashes (= a short sensation of intense heat which travels from the chest to the head), heavy sweating followed by coldness, emotional upsets (such as depression or anxiety), sleeplessness. The vagina gradually becomes drier and thinner, and the sexual act may therefore become uncomfortable. Artificial lubricant will prevent this discomfort.

Every time after you pee, wipe (with toilet-paper) the vaginal vestibule and especially the meatus, so that there would be no wetness on it.

After a bowel movement a woman should wipe her anus from front (perineum, vulva) to back (anus). It is a difficult way to do it but it is the recommended way. The anal and vaginal floras are not compatible, so the probability for you to get an infection this way is smaller than if you wipe back to front.

You have to be very thorough when washing your vulva!

Wash your hands with soap, and then shower your vulva with warm water. If you don't have a hymen, then open your vagina and shower inside too.

Don't let any soap be on your hands! Women should not wash their vagina with soap or bathe (in the tub) in soapy water. The soap destroys the vaginal flora thus making the vagina more sensitive to infections. You must not eliminate the vaginal flora, or otherwise the probability to get a vaginal infection increases. However, soap can be used if it has a high acidity so that, when used, it would maintain the natural acidity of the vagina, not destroy it (as normal hand soap does).

It is useless to try to remove every trace of smell or fluid of your vagina! Don't try to scrub it, even if you use just water!

Slide two fingers from one hand (the index and middle fingers) put close together, inside your vagina. Push your fingers toward the bottom of the vagina, deep inside. Move your fingers on all sides of the vagina, making a continuous, circular movement with your fingers, just like washing the inside of a tall and narrow glass.

If you have a hymen then you shouldn't try to wash your vagina. But if you are courageous enough then you can use a finger to wash inside: keep your palm toward the vulva and bend the middle finger so that you can reach behind the hymen, where some "things" may get stuck. Don't force the hymen (well, unless you're really trying to deflower yourself)!

Wash your hands.

Shower your vulva and rub soap on a hand. Roll the clitoral hood backward so that the clitoris would become exposed as much as possible, but don't force it. Now shower the area and then gently slide your soapy fingers on it. You have to be gentle because the clitoris is very sensitive to direct touch. Finally, rinse the soap very well.

Shower your vulva and rub soap on a hand. Slide a soapy finger (the middle finger) between your small labium and big labium on one side of the vulva, then on the other side; rub well on each side, up and down. Then keep your small labium and big labium alternatively spread apart from each other on each side, and rinse the soap very well.

Shower your vulva. Slide a hand (without the big thumb) between the small labia, into the vestibule (between the small labia). Rub well, up and down (and even in circular motions).

Wash your hands. Rinse again the entire vulva, rubbing very well everywhere. How do you know you're clean enough? Well, would you... lick it? You are clean enough when the answer is yes! (No, you don't have to actually do it!)

Though all these things will become mechanical at some point, if you focus on what you're doing, you'll find out how pleasurable washing your vulva is.

Tips:

• Stay healthy so that your body can fight vaginal infections better. Drink as much water (or other water-based fluids) as you need; fruit juices are good, but coffee and alcohol are of no help.
• Change from a wet bathing suit to dry clothing immediately after a swim.
• Wear cotton underwear. Synthetic materials trap heat and moisture, helping bacteria to grow.
• Cotton pads are preferable over synthetic versions.
• Calendula and camomile based creams may help reduce itching.
• Don't use fragranced products (such as perfumed shower gels or soaps, tampons, napkins, or sprays) in the genital area.
• Avoid wearing clothes that are too tight in the genital area.
• Avoid bubble baths and bath oils.
• Keep the anus and the genital organs, clean and dry.
• Urinate before and after genital sex.
• Urinate often and completely.
• After a bowel movement, wipe yourself from front to back (from the perineum toward the anus).
• Avoid sexual acts that hurt. Use artificial lubrication if necessary.

Use cold water and soap to remove any blood stains that get on your clothes.

Use sanitary pads to absorb the flow and keep it from staining your clothes.

Keep your vulva clean: use pads and wash it when you feel the need. Wash your hands! Use warm water, not water which is too cold or too hot!

Don't flush pads in the toilet!

Women should perform vulvar self-examination each month, between menstruations. It is important for women to learn early what a normal vulva looks like for them personally, as vulvas can look very different from one woman to the another.

You can do it yourself or have someone help you (which would be much easier).

You need the following objects: a mirror, a flashlight, a (plastic) speculum if possible (speculums are available at pharmacies that sell medical supplies), lubricant for the speculum. Be sure to have intimacy!

Get naked and lie on your back on the bed, with your legs spread wide open and bent from the knee. Look at what you can see and feel in the genital area.

Put the mirror at your feet, supported by something so that you can look at your vulva and inside your vagina. Expose your vulva: spread apart the labia. Check each part for changes: changes in skin color, sores, inflammations, or lumps. It's important to feel for changes as well as look for them - sometimes a bump can be below the surface of the skin, and you won't be able to see it. Examine all of the parts of the vulva, then do the same with your vagina. If you have a speculum, it will be easier do the vaginal examination.

Lubricate the speculum. Close it. Insert it gently in your vagina and open it in order to push apart the vaginal walls. Shine the flashlight (into the mirror) so you can see your cervix and the vaginal walls into the mirror. Note the colors of the cervix and of the vaginal secretions. The normal cervix appears wet, pinkish, has a dome-like shape, and has a small orifice in the middle which looks like a bigger meatus; the cervix of pregnant women has a bluish tint. Close the speculum and remove it from your vagina. Wash the speculum thoroughly.

If you have a hymen, you'll not be able to look inside you vagina, but, still, look at everything else. All you see there is yours for your whole life. You'll feel great if you love it all, if you like to look at it, if you like to touch it, if you keep it clean and healthy for you and for your lover.

In some countries, if the gynecologist is a man, there must be a woman-nurse in the room.

Don't worry if you're nervous about going to the gynecologist! Don't listen to those who tell you should feel nothing because everything is like going for a walk! It is not that simple. I mean, when you go to the dentist you're not happy about it (though in the case of the gynecologist it doesn't, usually, hurt), you are nervous. You can surely imagine that going to a gynecologist is by no means any easier. So, feel free to be nervous, but control this feeling, don't let it control you! Stress is an enemy, but hiding it is much more hurting, because, in the future, you'll never see it coming and you'll not know why you have other (stress related) problems. So, make jokes about your nervousness ! Be an open person!

Hopefully, in the future, technology will allow medicine to use some sort of scanning machines to perform a gynecological examination, instead of the current invasive methods. But until then, women have to accept this way ...

Just think positive!

It is up to you to choose the physician you go to. You have to feel relaxed. The examination would be much easier this way. Don't rush into choosing, or you may find out how stressful is to change your gynecologist later! You may not want to undress in front of many physicians because you would feel like a patient or an object, instead of feeling like a woman. You choose! Don't let others choose for you, don't let others use your shame and fear to make you do things you don't actually want to do!

Physicians must respect their client's privacy. The best thing to do is ask about "client confidentiality" when you make an appointment. If you are a minor, the physician may need to contact a parent in case of a medical emergency.

Gynecologists recommend that a woman has a yearly gynecologic examination, after she begins her sexual life or after the age of 18. You also have to see a gynecologist if you feel any abnormal pain in your genital organs or pelvic area.

Learn what is normal for your body and what is not! Watch for changes in your body that may signal problems. Good gynecological care is a matter of teamwork, you and your physician working together and maintaining good communication.

You may need to have checkups even more often if you have:

• A history of sexual health problems.
• Plans to become pregnant.
• A STD or a sexual partner who has one.
• Endometriosis or fibroids.
• Abnormal cell development in the cervix.
• A mother or sister who had breast cancer before menopause.
• A new sexual partner.

You should visit your physician, no matter how old you are, if you have:

• Unusual vaginal or pelvic pain.
• Abnormal vaginal bleeding or discharge.
• Vaginal pain, swelling, itchiness, or abnormal (in color or smell) discharge.
• Severe pain in the lower abdomen.
• Pain or swelling of the breasts, vulva, vagina, uterus, or ovaries.
• Itching of the vulva or vagina.
• Growths or thickening of the breast or armpit.
• Puckering, dimpling, or other changes in the skin of the breast.
• Bleeding or discharge from the nipple.
• Changes in size or shape of the breast, except for those determined by variations of your weight.
• Abnormal pain, discomfort, or emotional distress before your menstruation. Severe menstrual cramps or sudden menstrual irregularity.
• Painful sexual acts.
• Blood in the urine.
• Exposure to an STD.
• Pregnancy.

During the examination, the physician can find problems that you don't even know you have, and when treated early, most problems can be cured.

Routine gynecological care can:

• Help prevent illness and discomfort.
• Lead to early detection of cancers of the breast and cervix.
• Detect STDs before they cause serious damage.
• Detect causes of infertility.
• Make pregnancy, childbirth, and birth control easier.

Make sure to schedule the appointment to the gynecologist when you won't have your menstruation (preferably a few days after your menstruation ends), so that the physician can get accurate test results. It's recommend not to have sex in the day before the examination.

You should write down all the questions you have about your health, and any issues that make you nervous, and ask the physician all that.

You should be ready to answer some questions:

• Name.
• Date of birth.
• Marital status.
• Occupation.
• Age when menstrual cycles first started.
• How long a menstruation lasts and if it is usually regular (or if its duration vary).
• When you had your last menstruation.
• Have you gone through menopause? At what age?
• Do you do breast self-examination regularly?
• Do you have any of the following:
• Pain or bleeding during or after sexual acts.
• Pain or bleeding between menstruations.
• Heavy menstruations.
• Date of your last Pap smear. What was the result?
• Date of your last mammogram. What was the result?
• Have you ever had any treatment to your cervix?
• Have you ever had a vaginal infection?
• Are you sexually active (any kind of sex: oral, vaginal, anal, or any other kind you can think of)?
• Is your sexual life satisfactory for you?
• How many sexual partners have you had in the past year?
• How many sexual partners have you had in your lifetime?
• Methods of birth control that you use or have used.
• Have you ever been pregnant? Do you think you are pregnant? Are you trying to get pregnant?
• Number of pregnancies. Any complications?
• Number of children. How were they delivered? Any complications?
• Number of miscarriages.
• Number of abortions.
• Are you HIV positive?
• Do you use drugs?
• Have you ever had sexual acts with a drug user?
• Have you ever had sexual acts with a bisexual?
• Have you ever had sexual acts with multiple partners at the same time?
• Have you ever had a blood transfusion?
• Overall health.
• Current medication.
• Are you smoking or have you ever?
• Do you drink alcohol?
• Have you ever been hospitalized.
• Are you on any special diets?
• Personal and family (the women in your family) medical history:
• Major health problems, allergies, surgeries, mental problems.
• Birth defects, inherited diseases.
• Genital health problems, STDs, PMS.
• Breasts problems.
• Significant weight changes.
• Eating disorders.
• Anxiety, depression.
• Abusive relationships.

Be sure to go to the bathroom (to empty your bladder, bowels) before you go to the gynecologist.

On your first visit to the gynecologist, be sure to tell the physician it is your first visit, and feel free to communicate that you are nervous about the whole thing. Ask the physician to tell you what he / she is doing and why, as he / she does it. If you are uncomfortable then you should have a friend stay with you during the whole examination.

Remember to relax, breathe deeply, and ask plenty of questions. It's your physician's job to make sure your genital organs are in good shape, and to help you learn how to take care of your body between visits.

Communicate with the physician. If for any reason he / she seems rushed or uncooperative with your needs, find another physician.

The first part of the appointment will be a talk with your physician, about your personal and family sexual and medical history. It's important to be honest, so he / she can give you the right kind of examination based on your lifestyle at that time, because each year things change: your body, your lifestyle, your attitudes.

If you have concerns about your body, sex, birth control, or anything else, just ask the physician.

Here are some things about birth control you may want to discuss with your gynecologist:

• Is it affordable?
• What are the possible side effects?
• Is it reversible?
• How well will it help protect against pregnancy and STDs?

The examination includes your eyes and ears, heart and lungs, blood pressure, and weight. You may need to give blood and urine samples.

At this point, you'll have to undressed completely and get into a hospital gown.

Some women find that it helps relieve the stress they feel, with small talk: about the weather, a pair of new shoes, whatever keeps the mind busy.

The tests your physician chooses to perform are based on your age, medical history, and your family's medical history, so every gynecological examination is a bit different. Depending on the test which is being performed, you'll be standing, sitting or lying on the examination table.

First, there is the breasts examination. The examination resembles with breasts self-examination.

Your breasts are checked for lumps or discharge from the nipples. You are asked you if you have noticed anything unusual or experienced any pain. You will probably be shown how to perform breast self-examination.

Pelvic examination means genital and rectal examination.

The physician must wear gloves during this procedure.

There are two important positions:

• Lying on your back with legs spread apart and put on the examination table's leg supports.
• Lying on your back with legs pulled up to your chest, and spread apart.

Your will be asked to lie down on the examination table and put your feet in the footrests (stirrups